The Essex Herald

Home of Pop Quiz and Essex News and now incorporating The Landfill Tawny Echo

Crime in Essex

This weekend saw Chelmsford’s biggest ever robbery. Fat Bank safety deposit complex in Sterling Road was raided and an undisclosed amount of cash and other valuables were stolen. An insider told the Herald’s reporter that the cash sum is believed to be in excess of 2.6 million pounds.


We spoke by phone to security guard Spike Manbasher at his home in Acapulco, Mexico. He said, “It’s a complete mystery to me. I was on duty at the time and did not see or hear anything suspicious”.


At the scene we spoke to detective chief inspector Nick Speeders who said, “We are dealing with a very clever and sophisticated gang. They managed to get in and out without being noticed by the security guard or tripping any of the banks state of the art alarms”. He went on to say,” No clues were left at the scene. They just appeared out of nowhere, took the money and then seemingly vanished into thin air”. We had to cut the interview short as D.C.I. Nick Speeders was called away to join another fifteen squad cars who were acting on a tip off about a speeding motorist in the Silver End area.

Basildon Court

In Basildon crown court today, Sharon Slapworthy (25) from Pitsea was convicted of keeping a “house of ill repute”. It was claimed that Miss Slapworthy (an unmarried mother of two) charged men £450.00 an hour for services provided in her Pitsea club “The bondage parlour”.


Miss Slapworthy’s defence claimed that presiding judge Hugh Slipknot (61) had been a regular visitor at Miss Slapworthy’s club. Judge Slipknot shrugged off the allegation stating that he had only visited the club once and that she was probably confusing him with some of his colleagues.


Miss Slapworthy was fined £450.00 and bound over.

In other news

Two people suffered minor injuries in a crash on the A12 near Chelmsford yesterday. A Ford Mondeo driven by Cecil Grimes (61) collided with a Lamborghini Diablo driven by Mr Spike Manbasher (21), an ex security guard from the area who was visiting his family whilst on holiday from his new home in Mexico. Cecil Grimes and his passenger Mildred Grimes (63) received roadside treatment for their injuries by Chelmsford paramedics. As a precaution Essex traffic police have closed the A12, A13 and A127 for three days. Diversions are in operation.